seasons…
It’s late September here in New England and that means its ALMOST peeper season. Truth be told it’s spectacular! However…I am a summer girl and that shall never change, this one in particular feeling a lot like the shortest one of my life. One evening a few weeks ago I went out for my evening walk and it was already getting dark! NO! I have fought it kicking and screaming the entire way. Never mind the very cool mornings when all summer I could leisurely enjoy my coffee in the back yard. I’m just not ready.
Just yesterday I did this thing. I had a few years back tried to begin a retreat center for grieving parents. I had a full on vision for this and worked very HARD to make it happen then it just itself died. I found Compassionate Friends about that time and started attending when my schedule allowed. To make a long story short the gentleman who was facilitating the group stepped down after 30 years and myself and another grieving mother took over. Yesterday was the first meeting for us without Allan leading it. Suffice to say “ I did IT!’’ I walked away full and empty, glad and sad, plus also incredibly proud to be in a safe space with grief stricken parents who just need to be seen and heard. I felt like I gave and I received and that was a rare gift to me.
On the way home it was a typical Autumn afternoon, cloudy, gray, cold and drizzling. I first noticed purple flowers and how they stood out, then the goldenrod and other deep jewel toned blooms. Everything was SO saturated with color because of the lack of sunlight. The trees in the area I was in were already a changing and it was just stunning to behold. Right then and there I accepted the fact that fall has arrived even though I was not ready to embrace it.
Last evening right before it was way too dark to walk, I set out… In this new acceptance of the change of seasons I have begun accepting the very fact that I’m also in the Autumn season of my life. My colors are definitely changing. Days are shorter, nights long… I can only hope in the years ahead that they are richer and more brilliant, even when the sun is not shining on me. love you. dd
